advice on remarriage whilst mother is upset

Category: 

Marriage & Divorce

According to Madhhab: 

Hanafi

Reference: 

1440-049

Question:

i get married to a Pakistani on 2017 Oct my mother she don't like my husband from first day and after nikah my husband he had financial problem he had his own mobile shop in Soweto before marriying to me just before our marriage his friend did fraud and his shop went close and we after nikah we start business with the help of my family because my husband family is at Pakistan and we start a new shop in Alexandra but we were robbed so we have to close that shop since my husband totally don't have any job my mother she start telling me to divorce and she start troubling because of that me and my husband fight for several time my mother she is well set she have properties in Africa my sisters tell my mother to let me stay in the property my mother she don't believe my husband she don't wanna help us and in all this problem me and my husband fight taking advantage of this my mother make us divorce she call police and she take divorce from my husband forcefully and after divorce she keep me by her but me I can't forget my husband and we have contact after 3 tallaq after idaat I run away to my husband I stay with him in Haram realtion ship but we both are not satisfied with our realtion ship we also had a lot fight there and after three month I told him I can't stay in haram realtion ship so I will do halaala and will come and I came back to my family I did halaala already now I'm in idaat again at November my idaat will done but my mother she is very angary with me still she is telling me not to go back but I wanna make nikah with him only now have job but we have to be settle little bit my mother have my property that my father gave me but she still don't wanna help me but I don't want help from her I just wanna I ask hazrat must I make nikah again with him bcoz I'm really confused he is saying I must come and my mother she said if u will go this is u r last chance u will come back I know I don't what to do please advice me jazaklah

Answer:

We live in a world of cause and effect where the input affects the output. And there are moments in our lives where we go through some difficult stages failing to realize this concept of cause and effect. Allāh Ta'ālā shows us in the Qur'ān:

﴿وَمَا أَصَابَكُمْ مِنْ مُصِيبَةٍ فَبِمَا كَسَبَتْ أَيْدِيكُمْ وَيَعْفُو عَنْ كَثِيرٍ﴾ (الشورى: 30)
(Oh mankind!) The misfortunes that afflict you are a result of the (evil) actions you earn, and (because of your many sins, you deserve to suffer even more adversities, but) Allāh pardons a great deal (many of your sins, because of which you are spared many more hardships).

And Allāh Ta'ālā says elsewhere:

﴿ظَهَرَ الْفَسَادُ فِي الْبَرِّ وَالْبَحْرِ بِمَا كَسَبَتْ أَيْدِي النَّاسِ لِيُذِيقَهُمْ بَعْضَ الَّذِي عَمِلُوا لَعَلَّهُمْ يَرْجِعُونَ﴾ (الروم: 41)
Corruption (trouble, difficulties, calamities) has appeared on land and sea because of the (evil) actions of man so that Allāh may let them taste (the consequences) of some of their (evil) actions, so that they may adopt Taqwā.

What we do has a direct impact on ourselves. We are the main cause for the difficulties we face in life. The solution lies in correcting our relationship with Allāh Ta'ālā as well as with other human beings. By fulfilling our obligations to Allāh Ta'ālā together with discharging our responsibilities to the rest of mankind.
But from amongst mankind, certain individuals hold greater privileges and are worthy of more consideration than others. From amongst these people are one’s parents. They enjoy this high rank due to their innumerable favours upon us. Consequently, Allāh Ta'āla says in the Qur'ān:

﴿وَقَضَى رَبُّكَ أَلَّا تَعْبُدُوا إِلَّا إِيَّاهُ وَبِالْوَالِدَيْنِ إِحْسَانًا إِمَّا يَبْلُغَنَّ عِنْدَكَ الْكِبَرَ أَحَدُهُمَا أَوْ كِلَاهُمَا فَلَا تَقُلْ لَهُمَا أُفٍّ وَلَا تَنْهَرْهُمَا وَقُلْ لَهُمَا قَوْلًا كَرِيمًا ۞ وَاخْفِضْ لَهُمَا جَنَاحَ الذُّلِّ مِنَ الرَّحْمَةِ وَقُلْ رَبِّ ارْحَمْهُمَا كَمَا رَبَّيٰنِي صَغِيرًا﴾ (بني إسرائيل: 23-24)
Your Rabb has commanded you to worship only him and that you treat your parents kindly. If anyone of the two, or both reach old age with you then do not even tell them “Oof” and do not rebuke them and speak gently to them. Lower for them the wings of humility out of compassion and say “Oh my Rabb, show mercy to them as they had (been merciful towards me when they) raised me when I was young.

There are several narrations wherein Nabī Ṣallallāh 'Alayh Wa Sallam has emphasized filial (parental) piety. Some of them are as follows:
'Abd-Allāh ibn Mas'ūd Raḍi Allāh 'Unh enquired: Which actions are the most beloved in the sight of Allāh Ta'ālā? Nabi Ṣallallāh 'Alayh Wa Sallam replied: Ṣalāh offered at is prescribed times. So 'Abd-Allāh ibn Mas'ūd Raḍi Allāh 'Unh asked: Then which one? Nabī Ṣallallāh 'Alayh Wa Sallam replied: filial piety.
The parents are the best doors to Jannah, if you wish; protect them otherwise destroy them.

A Ṣaḥabī came to Nabī Ṣallallāh 'Alayh Wa Sallam and asked: Who is the most deserving of my good companionship? Nabī Ṣallallāh 'Alayh Wa Sallam replied: Your mother. He asked: Then who? Nabī Ṣallallāh 'Alayh Wa Sallam said: Your mother. He asked: Then who? Nabī Ṣallallāh 'Alayh Wa Sallam said: Your mother. He asked: Then who? Nabī Ṣallallāh 'Alayh Wa Sallam said: Your father.
Verily Allāh Ta'ālā has prohibited disobedience to mothers.
Jannah is under the feet of your mother.
(meaning that being humble in front of ones mother is a means to attain Jannah)

Based on the above, the 'Ulamā' have declared that it is compulsory to obey ones parents as long as it doesn’t lead to any action which has been prohibited in Sharī'ah. Therefore, one should not inconvenience them in any way. Strive to earn their happiness and their Du'a's. Listen to their advice, as they have your welfare in mind. This will bring blessings in ones life.

We advise that since you have already experienced problems with your husband in the past, together with your mother being displeased with him, it will be appropriate if you stay with your mother and not get married again to that man.

AND ALLAH TAÁALA ALONE IN HIS INFINITE KNOWLEDGE KNOWS BEST

ANSWERED BY: Sohel Randera
CHECKED AND APPROVED BY: Mufti Muhammed Saeed Motara Saheb D.B.
Islamic Date:21 Muharram 1440
English Date: 1 October 2018

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