Question:

Last night I wasn't feeling well ,my husband came home and opened the cupboard and the glass bottle of 1litre olive oil fell down and broke.

Firstly he started shouting me and didn't help at all to clean it.I started cleaning it because I was scared my baby would crawl there and get cut however he wouldn't even keep the baby quiet while I was busy and let the baby cry for quite a while.While busy he still said I must test him his Qur'an as well as make his lunch for the next day as he was going to sleep at a program and he didn't help me at all.I have a helper only twice a week but if he takes something out he won't put it back eg he needed a t shirt so he pulled it out with the other t shirts but left all on the floor for me to pick up.I was upset at his behaviour but didn't scream at him nor say a word I just kept quiet.

However this morning he's insisting I must ask a Molana a cure for my sickeness of anger ,can Molana pls advise.

Answer:

Indeed, anger is an inborn quality within man which Allāh Ta'ālā uses to test him. It is a spark of fire that’s been deeply embedded in man. Whenever something comes in between him and his desires the fire of anger is ignited, making its appearance on the face. At the time of anger, the presence of Shayṭān is strongly perceived inside man. Sand which is peaceful and humble now becomes like fire that’s violent and aggressive. Anger is a time where Shayṭān establishes his control over man. If not controlled, not only will it affect this worldly life, but it will also destroy his hereafter.

1. Ponder over the great virtues mentioned in the Qur'ān and Aḥādīth of suppressing ones anger, forbearance, and forgiving.

Allāh Ta'ālā mentions in the Qur'ān a few qualities of those who have the fear of Allāh Ta'ālā who are promised Jannah, and amongst them are the following:
Those who suppress their anger and those who forgive others.

Raṣūl Allāh Ṣallallāh 'Alayh Wa Sallam has said:
A strong person is not he who can throw people down, rather a strong person is he who can control himself at the time of anger.

In another narration the following has been reported:
The person who holds back his anger, Allāh Ta'ālā will hold back his punishment on the Day of Judgement.

In another narration the following has been reported
The person who holds back his anger, Allāh Ta'ālā will conceal his faults, and he who suppresses his anger while having the ability to execute it, Allāh Ta'ālā will fill his heart with happiness.

2. Remind oneself that Allāh Ta'ālā has more power over me than I do over this person. If I execute my anger on this person, how can I be assured that Allāh Ta'ālā wont execute his anger on me on the day of judgement, the day I’ll need his forgiveness the most?

3. Fear revenge from the person you have mistreated and harmed.

4. Recite أعوذ بالله من الشيطان الرجيم

5. Recite اللَّهُمَّ رَبَّ مُحَمَّدٍ، اغْفِرْ لِي ذَنْبِي وَأَذْهِبْ غَيْظَ قَلْبِي وَأَجِرْنِي مِنْ مُضِلَّاتِ الْفِتَنِ.

6. Calm yourself down by sitting if you are standing, lie down if you are sitting. Move closer to the earth where you were created from and remember who you are and where you came from. If this hasn’t helped, then perform Wuḍu' with cool water; because anger comes from Shayṭān who has been created from fire, and water extinguishes fire.

7. Recite the following in abundance to help create love and affection between the couple: اَلْوَلِيُّ

AND ALLAH TAÁALA ALONE IN HIS INFINITE KNOWLEDGE KNOWS BEST

ANSWERED BY: Sohel Randera
CHECKED AND APPROVED BY: Mufti Muhammed Saeed Motara Saheb D.B.
Darul Ifta Azaadville